It was hard, being an empath. Quatre leaned in the doorway of Wufei’s room and watched his stubborn friend pace back and forth. It wasn’t fair, either, especially when he didn’t know what to do to help make it as better as he could.

"What’s wrong, Wufei?" He was going to get snapped at, he knew, but it was a conversation-starter and a way for Wufei to let loose his anger without having to ask for help.

"What do you *think* is wrong, Winner?" True enough, Wufei’s tone was harsh enough to boil metal.

"I can think of a lot of things." Quatre moved more into the room and toward Wufei, still keeping his distance. He didn’t want his friend to panic.

"I think you know what’s wrong this time." Wufei slammed his fist down on his desk and squeezed his eyes shut. Whether he was trying not to scream or cry Quatre didn’t know, but he knew the look of helpless rage on the other man’s face well. He held his peace and waited for Wufei to open up.

"What’s wrong with me?" the dark man whispered. "Why am I weak? Why can’t I control myself? It’s wrong, it’s all wrong and I can’t stay in control. I think of her, in his arms... I want him dead. I want him dead. How dare he touch what’s not his? What gives him that right? Why can’t I stop thinking about it, Quatre?"

There. He’d asked for help, indirectly. Quatre sighed and sat himself down in the third row, idly tracing patterns on the desktop with his fingertips. "I don’t know, truthfully, but I have a few ideas."

"Tell me." Wufei came over and knelt on the floor beside Quatre, looking up at him with haunted dark eyes.

The young man sighed. "I think that maybe you’re in love with Relena."

"Love? I’m not in love with her."

"And therein lies your problem," the blond murmured. Wufei gave him a sharp look. "You refuse to acknowledge that you love her, and yet you go into a violent jealous fit when she tells you that she’s doing a favor for a friend---"

"You call having sex with him a favor?"

"Yes, I do," Quatre replied evenly. "I don’t like it either, and you know that, but like it or not, what happened between Relena and Triton was a favor done for a friend. Relena’s not going to leave you, Wufei, not unless you push her away and pushing her away is *exactly* what you’re doing. Why?"

"I..." Wufei looked down and to the side, his emotional struggle apparent on his face. Softly, "I don’t want her to look at anyone else. I don’t want her to need anyone but me or to think of being with anyone but me. It’s... I..." Wufei took a deep breath. "I don’t want to lose her."

"I don’t think she wants to lose you, either."

"Then why did she sleep with him?" Wufei almost yelled as his head snapped up, dark eyes full of fire.

"Because that’s how Relena is," Quatre replied, voice tight.

"That’s how she is? A whore? You dare to call Relena a who---"

"No, you thickskulled idiot," Quatre snapped, "I’m not! Of everything you know of Relena, do you *truly* believe that she could sit idly by and watch someone she *doesn’t* know suffer, for *any* reason, without trying her best to help them? Much less someone she knows *and* cares about?" He knew that Wufei didn’t have much use for religion, but the blond remembered something Dorothy had said once at a banquet, about Relena’s need to selflessly help others. "Relena is Mother to us all, Wufei."

"So now the Muslim is quoting the pagan?"

"True, I don’t believe that there is a Goddess, much less that She is Maiden, Mother and Crone, but aren’t Dorothy’s words true? According to Dorothy’s religion there *is* such a deity, and in Her Mother aspect She takes care of all Her children regardless of harm to Herself. That’s what all mothers are supposed to do and I suppose Dorothy’s Goddess isn’t much different."

Wufei was staring at him, mouth working silently as he thought over Quatre’s words. "‘Relena is Mother to us all, as the Great Mother is to all Her children, and by Her will Relena will do all she can to help everyone, with no thought for her own gain,’" he quoted softly. "It’s a part of her, to help others in need, Wufei. Would you demand that she leave something so vital to herself behind, simply because you want her all to yourself?"

By the look on Wufei’s face, he might very well, but the Chinese man held his peace. "And who gave *you* the right to touch Relena, Wufei? Relena herself did. Relena gave Triton the right to touch her, as well, and she *did* have the courtesy to tell you about it, even go so far as to ask for your permission when not only is she your Queen and therefore asks permission of no one, but the one and only owner of her body. You can’t command Relena in anything, Wufei, not unless her life is in danger. Relena’s not yours. She gave herself to you freely, of her own will, and by her own will she took away your privilege," and Quatre emphasized the word slightly, "of touching her."

Wufei’s voice, when he spoke, was a bitter ache: "I lost one person I never knew I loved already; must I lose a second?"

"Go tell her," Quatre urged softly, stretching his arms across the desk and resting his head on them, watching Wufei with compassion. "Go to her right now and tell her that you love her, let *her* hear why you went into a rage when she told you about Triton’s dilemma."

"If she turns me away---"

"Relena wouldn’t turn away her greatest enemy, if they came before her to apologize and ask forgiveness." Quatre smiled slightly. "Don’t underestimate her, Wufei, or her feelings for you."

"And why should I ask forgiveness?"

"You know why. For calling her a whore, for yelling at her, for the bruises on her wrists." Wufei looked up sharply. "You’re a strong man, Wufei, stronger than Relena. I doubt you meant to hurt her."

Wufei might have had tears in his eyes, but he ducked his head too quickly for Quatre to be sure. "I didn’t," he whispered. "I never meant to hurt her. Last night we fought again. I... I don’t know why I sought her out, maybe to tell her again that I didn’t want her to be with that boy, maybe to apologize... But she ignored me, and then we started yelling and she slapped me once. I told her not to do it again, I think, and she..." He rubbed his temples. "She told me she didn’t want me in her life if I was going to try to own her, and... I... I’ve never met a woman as strong as Relena. I was taught that men were to keep and take care of women, and I’ve only twice before thought that maybe women can care for themselves... I told her that women should do as men told them, and she tried to hit me again." His shoulders were shaking and Quatre knew that he was crying. "I grabbed her wrist and she tried to hit me with her other hand, and I grabbed that wrist, too, and she said that I was hurting her... she started crying... I let her go and she ran away, I can only assume to Triton’s arms."

Wufei looked up suddenly, his tears streaking his face. "How can I ask forgiveness for that, Quatre? How can I *beg* for it? I hurt a woman; a cowardly act in itself, but to hurt Relena, who never offered me anything but love and compassion, to hurt my Queen who is the one person I should *never* hurt... There’s no excusing that, Quatre." Wufei closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them, there was sorrow in their dark depths. "She doesn’t... I don’t deserve her. I’m weak, a coward. I don’t have the honor needed to be near her, much less by her side where she wants me." His tenor voice was hollow. "I’m resigning as a Preventer as soon as I get to your house."

Quatre closed his own eyes, but from exasperation rather than emotional turmoil. "Do you think Relena wants that? Do you think that *Relena* thinks you’re not honorable enough to be with her? Don’t resign, Wufei, please. Relena will blame herself, you know that."

"What else is there to do? I hurt her once; I refuse to chance it again."

"Get up and go talk with her," Quatre replied. "Go tell her that you’re sorry, that you made a mistake. You’ve admitted to being wrong to me, now go tell the person who needs to hear it, who *deserves* to hear it."

Wufei hesitated, but got up. "And if she is as wise as everyone thinks, then she’ll tell me to resign."

"If she’s as wise as everyone thinks," Quatre retorted, "she’ll smack you upside the head and then pound it into you that you’re not always right and sometimes, in fact, you’re wrong, and then she’ll suggest that you two talk without fighting about your relationship." He smiled softly. "Women, no, *people* like Relena don’t come around very often, Wufei."

"No," the other man replied softly as he stood at the door, "they don’t."

* * *

"I thought I’d had enough of children with the goblin running around," Triton commented as he, Relena, and said goblin walked toward the gym. "I just had to go and tell the new Dean that I’d teach more of them how to bend in half."

"I’m not a goblin!" Amir protested. He was between Relena and Triton and held both their hands, swinging his arms joyfully.

"You are," Triton said. "You’re a little goblin and I love you for it."

Amir looked down at himself critically. "I don’t *look* like a goblin."

"Have you ever seen a goblin?" Relena asked. Amir shook his head. "Well, then, how do you know you *don’t* look like one?"

That threw the young boy for a loop and Triton shared a smile with Relena as Amir tried to figure that one out. As the older woman turned her face toward the ‘sky’ Triton took a moment to watch her. Her hair was pulled into a plain ponytail at the back of her head and she wore no make-up. The ponytail was coming out in the front and little wisps of dark blonde hair blew about her face, clinging gently to her smooth, clear skin. His Queen was beautiful for a woman, Triton decided, and he rather liked her boyish good looks. She looked especially good in the worn and faded jeans she wore, with her light blue button-up shirt tied at her midriff.

"Hey, Triton!" The young man turned his head and smiled at one of his classmates. "Nice kid! That your wife?"

Relena started laughing and Triton, who normally would have been given a heart attack, just chuckled and shook his head. "No, he’s not ours and we’re just baby-sitting him."

"Oh." The young man shrugged. "Sorry! Hope I didn’t offend you!"

Triton shook his head. "Not at all."

"I’m not yours! I’m Father’s and Mother’s! Why’d he think I was yours?" Amir wanted to know.

"Because most people assume that if a man and a woman are walking together, holding hands with a child, that the child is theirs," Relena explained.

Amir counted on his fingers while still holding Triton’s hand. "But then... You would have had me... How old are you, Triton?"

"I’ll be twenty in July," the young man replied.

"So you’re nineteen?" Triton nodded. Amir frowned and counted. "Nineteen... I’m eight... Uhm... You were... ten?"

"Eleven," Triton corrected.

"That’s too young to have a baby!"

Relena grinned. "Exactly. And if I catch you with a baby before you’re twenty, child, I’ll be very upset."

"But Father and Mother were seventeen when they had *me*!" Amir protested, wide-eyed.

"That’s because... of a lot of things," Relena told the small boy. "Back then there were a lot of people who were still actively trying to hurt me, and your father needed an heir as soon as possible. That’s why he had you so young."

"Oh. But no one’s trying to hurt you now, right?"

Relena smiled. "No, not now."

"Oh. Are you going to watch Triton teach me and the other kids how to do circus stuff, Aunt Relena?"

The skin around Relena’s eyes tightened but she smiled down at Amir. "Tomorrow, maybe, Amir. I have things to do today."

Amir sighed and pouted a little, but then hugged Relena when she knelt down. "All right. Tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow," she promised, kissing his forehead.

After Relena had left, Triton and Amir went into the gym. Shelby was there, talking with a few students and about ten children were milling around or clinging to their parents. She looked up and smiled at Triton, waving him over.

"I assure you, Mr. Bloom will take good care of your children," she was saying as Triton got within hearing range. "I’ve spoken with several people who know him well, and they’ve all told me the same."

"Ms. Ybarra," Triton murmured, inclining his head.

"Mr. Bloom." She held out her hand and, though the thought of touching her when he knew that Quatre had touched her there and other places last night made him want to scream, Triton took her hand and shook it. "Do you any questions before you go to work?" she asked the students. A couple of them Triton recognized from his classes, and he smiled slightly at them.

"No, ma’am. I think we all trust Triton." Why Hilde was there, Triton had no idea. She didn’t have any children, or so he’d thought. Nevertheless she knelt and pulled into her arms a young girl no more than five, kissing her cheek and getting kissed in return. "Be good, goblin," she said with affection.

"I will," the girl replied solemnly.

"You have a daughter?" Triton asked.

"Me?" Hilde laughed. "Oh, no, no, not me." She looked down at the girl and ruffled her hair as the child hid behind her and peeked out at Triton. "Not one I gave birth to. I’m a foster mommy."

"Oh." Triton sat down on the floor and let Amir climb on him, smiling up at Hilde and Shelby. "We’ll be fine from here."

"A lot of the children are shy," Shelby warned.

"It’ll be fine," Triton assured her. "Just let them run around and I’ll get their attention."

Hilde snickered and bent to kiss her chocolate-skinned foster daughter again, who tried to follow her out and cried when Hilde made her stay. Shelby nodded and turned to go. "I’ll leave it to you, then. The last parent will be here around five thirty or six."

"That’s all right," Triton said. "I don’t mind." The woman left and Triton made a face in her direction. ‘Stay away from Quatre,’ he thought savagely, then squeezed his eyes shut and frowned. ‘Stop it! He’s none of your concern,’ the young man told himself firmly, then got up and wandered over to the uneven parallel bars the gym had. The circus had a better set, but he didn’t mind.

After watching the children make a ruckus for a few minutes, Triton heaved himself up on the bars and swung his legs for a moment, getting up a good momentum before he went into a simple routine, flipping over and under the bars. Gradually he heard the children settle down and then, from under his half-closed eyes, he saw them gather around him in silence. The young man allowed himself a tight smile and ended the routine with a single, low flip, landing in front of the gathered group. Even Hilde’s girl had stopped crying, watching him with wide eyes. Good, he had their attention.

"Never try any gymnastics without stretching first," he said softly, sitting on the mat. At his words a few of the children had backed away slightly, still unsure of this stranger, but Triton said no more and went to stretching his legs.

After a moment Amir sat next to him and started imitating him, chattering to the children. "This is Triton! Triton’s a boy, even though he dresses like a girl. He lives with me and my father! Triton’s really nice, and Father said that he was going to teach us how to do all those things you see in the circus! Triton was with the circus before he started living with me and Father."

Triton smiled and winked at Amir, who tried to wink back but ended up blinking instead. Soon, thanks to Amir’s friendly babbling and their own curiosity, all the children were stretching, watching Triton to see what he would do next. As he stretched, Triton started to talk softly. As more children leaned forward to hear, he raised his voice, explaining which stretch he was doing and why. After he was done he looked around the gathered children.

"Hello," he said with a smile. "My name’s Triton."

"Hello, Triton," all but Amir replied in unison.

"I’m going to teach you a lot of things, like Amir said," he continued.

"Was you really with the circus?" one child asked.

"Yes, I was. I’d still like to be, but I have to finish college."

"What were you?" another asked.

"I was a clown." The class giggled and several questions were asked at once, but Triton held his hand up to quiet them. "Please, raise your hands." He pointed to a girl with curly brown pigtails. "Yes? What’s your name, too? Let’s say our names before we ask a question so we can get to know each other."

The girl smiled, and she was missing one of her front teeth. "My name’th Tharah," she said and some students giggled. Sarah blushed and looked down.

"That’s all right, Sarah. Stop laughing at her, children. You’ve all lost a few teeth, or will, and it’s not nice to make fun of someone."

"But she always talks like that!" The speaker was lanky and had brown eyes.

Triton frowned at him a little. "I used to lisp, too," he told the kids. "I still do sometimes, when I get upset. Sometimes it’s totally on accident. Go on, Sarah. What’s your question?"

The girl looked hesitantly at her peers but continued. "Well... uhm... did you live with the thircuth?"

Triton nodded. "Yes. My parents both worked for it, and my sister and I were born there." He pointed to a boy with blue eyes.

"My name’s Jackson," he said, "and you don’t look like a clown to me!"

"That’s because I’m not dressed like one right now. Yes?"

"I’m Annie. Why are you dressed like a girl?"

"It’s for a class I’m taking," he explained. He pointed to the girl next to Sarah.

"Uhm, my name’s, uhm, Estelle, and, uhm, why do you talk funny?"

Triton blinked. "I talk funny?" The kids nodded, even Amir, and it took a moment of thought for Triton to get what Estelle had meant. "Oh, you mean, why do I have an accent?"

"What’s an accent?" she asked.

"It’s when you speak a different language, and you don’t say everything like it’s supposed to be said in that language." Everyone looked confused. "I’m Portuguese," he explained. "I speak Portuguese, so I have a Portuguese accent."

"You mean, you didn’t used to speak Japanese?" The boy flushed and hurried on, "I’m Tommy."

"No, Tommy, I didn’t. I had to learn it."

"Why?"

"Because my mother and father both spoke Portuguese, and so did most everyone else with the circus."

"When did you learn Japanese?"

Triton thought a moment. "When I was five or six." He had vague memories of his parents helping him, teaching him, and he closed his eyes against the heartache that thinking about them caused.

"Is your mommy and daddy still with the circus?"

"No," Triton whispered. "They both died when I was very young."

There was silence in the gym for a few moments, then, one by one with Amir in the lead, the children came around Triton and hugged him, apologizing for his parents dying. Triton accepted the hugs and the few kisses he got, then, fearing he’d start crying in front of the children he stood.

"Thank you," he told them. "Thank you very much. Now, why don’t I teach you how to tumble, first of all?"

The children responded with enthusiasm, and as Triton herded them to the floor mats he noticed a boy sitting alone, eyes downcast and arms crossed over his chest. The position was familiar to Triton, the blank look, the seclusion...

‘God, no...’ The young man got the children started with tumbling and then went back to the boy, kneeling a foot or two in front of him. He offered a smile when the child looked up warily, eyes pained beneath their blank stare. "What’s your name?" Triton asked softly.

For a moment it looked like he wouldn’t get an answer. Then, slowly, the boy spoke: "My name’s... Andrew."

"I’m Triton, Andrew." The boy nodded once. "Would you like to come learn how to tumble? It’s really fun." He didn’t make any move toward the boy, didn’t raise his voice above a near-whisper.

Andrew didn’t look like he wanted to, but he glanced to the side and nibbled his lower lip before sighing and getting up, his head still lowered.

"You don’t have to," Triton told him. All he got was a listless shrug. "Well, come on." Triton didn’t try to take Andrew’s hand or to touch him. Alarm bells were going off like crazy, but he silenced them and told himself that he was being paranoid. Still, he’d keep an eye on Andrew. It could be that the boy was just very shy, like Triton had been at his age. Then again, Triton had had reasons for being that shy, and he prayed that those reasons weren’t Andrew’s reasons.

It was six thirty when Triton got to Ralph’s. He’d stopped by Shelby’s office to let her know that he wouldn’t be there Friday, and she’d smiled sweetly at him and told him okay, that was fine, and Triton had wanted to rip her hair out. He wasn’t jealous that she’d slept with Quatre, not at all. He just thought she’d look nice with a few bald patches. He rang the bell and Ralph opened it before the ring faded away.

‘Hello, hormones. I missed you. Not.’ Ralph was wear faded low-cut jeans and nothing else. He had some gray stuff splattered on him, though, on his chest, arms and a bit in his hair. Triton swallowed and tried not to stare at him.

"Hey there. I was starting to think you’d never come."

"Didn’t I tell you to stop using words with sexual innuendo?" Triton asked sharply, more so than he had intended.

Ralph grinned at him. "It’s only innuendo if your mind’s in the gutter." He turned and walked off, leaving the door open. Triton frowned and shut it as soon as he was inside. "I just finished making a cauldron."

"A what?"

"A cauldron. One of my friends is pagan and I’m making him a cauldron."

Triton shrugged. "Whatever. That’s clay all over you, then?"

"It’s certainly nothing lewd," was Ralph’s call from a different room. A few things banged around and then he came out, wiping his chest off with a wet cloth. Triton found his mouth to be suddenly dry and he swallowed sharply, licking his lips as his eyes followed the path of the rag, trembling. Smooth, tan skin over finely sculpted muscles, nipples a few shades darker... With a start Triton turned around and trembled again at Ralph’s chuckle.

"Are you going to clean yourself off all night?" the young man demanded when he could trust his voice again.

"I thought maybe I’d let you do it, actually, but since it looks like you’re going to faint, I’m done. Go to the living room and I’ll put a shirt on."

Triton wordlessly did as he’d been told and waited for Ralph, resting his hand over his heart. ‘Great, I have sex once and now I’m wanting every man I meet. Crap.’ Then again, Ralph certainly was attractive and Triton doubted that many found him unattractive... so maybe his lust was justified. Maybe.

When Ralph came back in he was wearing a blue shirt that set off his eyes and a grin that made Triton forget he *had* eyes. "You’re going to read a book tonight. I hope you like to read."

"Is it too much to ask that you have any books in Portuguese?"

Ralph flicked him another grin and a wink and tossed him a thick book. "Sure I do. Bought a few yesterday. Ooh, nice dress. I like it. I’d like it better on the floor, but we don’t all get what we want. Sit at that desk, please." As Triton blinked and sat at the desk, Ralph walked over and fussed for a moment, arranging his skirt and turning on a small lamp on the desk, then turning off all the lights near Triton. He frowned a bit as Triton opened the book, then tilted his head to the side. "Don’t frown so much," he ordered gently. Triton obediently smoothed his features and couldn’t help but smile a bit. Ralph’s hands on him felt nice. "Keep smiling like that."

Triton’s head was positioned so that he couldn’t see what Ralph was doing, but he felt the man move away and hear a chair or something scrape along the floor. There had been an easel in the room, so it was probably that. He hadn’t read the book that Ralph had given him, but he’d heard of the author and that she was very good. He flipped to the first page and started reading, trying to forget that there was an attractive man drawing him a few feet away.

"Did you catch the news this afternoon?" Ralph asked a while later. His voice was low and rather distant.

Triton almost shook his head but remembered that he had to keep still. "No, I was working."

"You mean I’m not your only job?" Ralph’s mock-hurt tone made Triton laugh a little. "The Queen made a speech about Dover blowing up."

"Really?" Triton had heard of it happening, had even caught a bit of it on the news. So that was why Relena hadn’t stayed to watch him and the children...

"Yeah. Took the blame for not having all the old bases thoroughly taken down, explained what she was having done about it... That girl’s got balls, I’m telling you, to openly admit that she made a mistake. Not many people would do that, especially people in or near her position."

"Maybe that’s why she’s Queen," Triton suggested.

"Or maybe because she’s got everyone under a spell." Triton looked up and frowned, but Ralph was grinning. "You think I believe those rumors? Anyone who’s ever watched any of those fancy balls they show is bound to notice that it’s Dorothy Catalonia who’s the pagan one. Do you watch the vidscreen all that much?"

"No, not really. I’ve never had the time nor inclination to rot my brains out in front of it."

Ralph chuckled and looked back at the drawing. "Well, there was this one where Dorothy made a speech, right after Relena started a new program for the poor and homeless. She said something about Relena being the mortal embodiment of the Goddess in Her Mother aspect, and how Relena would be Mother to us all. Or something like that."

"She’s a strong woman," Triton said softly as he turned back to the book.

"Maybe that’s why she’s Queen," Ralph said lowly.

"Maybe," Triton agreed.

"What must I do to get another kiss from you?" Ralph asked a few minutes later.

Triton blinked at the book for a moment and then tilted his head so he could see Ralph. "Pardon?"

Ralph was looking him over contemplatively. "What must I do to get another kiss from you?"

"Why do you want to kiss me in the first place?" Triton was still trying to figure *that* out.

"Mm, lots of reasons. Why do you *not* want me to kiss you?"

"Well... I asked you first." Triton frowned --- he seemed to do that a lot in Ralph’s company, he noted --- and tried to figure out *why* he was opposed to Ralph kissing him.

"Fair enough. I’d like to kiss you because you’re smart, attractive, interesting to talk to, you’re pretty funny, you speak a foreign language and you have an accent."

"You want to kiss me because I have an *accent*?"

Ralph grinned. "Yeah. I have a thing for anything foreign. I love accents."

"Oh. Well."

"Your turn. Why don’t you want me to kiss you?"

"I don’t know," Triton said honestly. "You... you make me nervous."

"Maybe because you want me?"

"Maybe because your ego gets in the way?" Triton shot back. Ralph was grinning and he couldn’t help but smile back.

"Hey, could be. Want me to put it outside?"

"I doubt you could fit it though the doorway," the young man muttered.

"Sure I can. It just takes a while."

Triton laughed and shook his head. "Are you done?"

"Just a moment. Go back to how you were." Triton did and then there was a small flash. "Now I can paint it. So, why do I make you nervous?"

"I don’t know. You just do."

"If you kissed me more, I bet you’d stop being nervous about it."

"Why do you flirt so much?"

The Asian man shrugged and sat on the couch, arms stretched across the back of it. "Dunno. Just do. I’d probably stop if you’d stop flirting back, you know."

Triton stood and walked around. It was very tempting to sit next to Ralph, and maybe to have Ralph rest an arm across his shoulders... The Portuguese young man shook his head a bit. "I don’t flirt back."

"Gorgeous, you flirt back. Trust me, I know what flirting is and even if you don’t know it, you’re flirting." Ralph was moving his hands idly and Triton looked away, knowing that Ralph was grinning at him.

"Fine. I’ll stop."

"You can’t stop what you don’t know about."

Triton let his breath out in one rush and stood in front of Ralph with his arms crossed over his chest. "And you’re not going to tell me when I’m flirting, are you?"

"You’re smart," Ralph said as he sat up and leaned forward a bit. He reached out and rested one hand on Triton’s hip, watching the young man in front of him.

"You spend more time flirting than you do painting or drawing or whatever," Triton told him softly.

"Do I? You should see all the sketches I’ve done."

"Why don’t you show me?" Triton asked.

Ralph got up and bowed slightly from the waist. "As you wish. Sit down and I’ll be back."

Triton sat and tried to figure out what he wanted from Ralph, and what Ralph wanted from him. Other than sex, Triton couldn’t think of anything else Ralph wanted, but there was something that didn’t fit with that. Ralph had said that he was a mystery. Well, in some things Triton planned to *stay* a mystery to Ralph.

‘So that’s probably what he wants from me. Sex and to know everything about me. So what do *I* want from *him*?’ A good question. Ralph distracted him from Quatre, certainly. ‘But doing anything with him simply so I don’t have to think about Quatre is wrong. And why am I thinking about Quatre, anyway?’ Triton rubbed his eyes carefully. ‘All right, he’s a distraction. He’s also very attractive.’ So was Quatre. ‘But he’s different than Quatre in a lot of ways.’ Maybe that was why he fascinated Triton... The young man nodded to himself. ‘Whatever was happening between Quatre and I went really, really bad for whatever reason. Maybe I can try again, with Ralph...’ That was a very nice thought. Triton smiled.

"Do you think in Portuguese?"

Triton jumped and looked up. "What?"

Ralph was leaning in the doorway and holding a sketch pad loosely in one hand. He straightened as tossed it at Triton as soon as he was close enough. "Do you think in Portuguese? I know some people tend to think in their native language."

"Mmmm..." Triton thought about it. He’d never had what language he thought in brought to his attention before. "When I’m speaking Portuguese, or reading it, or alone, I think I do. When I have to speak or read in Japanese I think in Japanese. I think. Sometimes I have to think what I’m going to say in Portuguese and translate it in my head."

"Oh, interesting. Is it that way for most people who speak a different first language?"

Triton shrugged. "I’d assume so, though I could be wrong." He looked down at the sketch pad as Ralph sat next to him, flipping it open. "You never said that you had pictures of me before last night."

"You never asked. You only asked to see what I’d done last night."

"True." Triton tilted the pad and rolled his eyes at his picture. "I should have been born a girl. I look enough like one."

"According to Chris, it’s hell being female. Something about bleeding every month. I tune her out after that."

"And cramps. Girls get cramps."

"How do *you* know this?"

Triton smiled as he turned the page. "I have an older sister and we shared a trailer."

Ralph made a tiny noise and leaned back against the couch. His eyes were on Triton; the Portuguese man could feel them. After he’d flipped through the sketch pad, Triton closed it and turned to Ralph. "That’s very good," he said and he meant it. "Where’d you learn to draw like that?"

"I picked up a pencil one day and just started drawing. It must be a natural talent because I’d only done sketches before that, nothing serious." Ralph’s chest was puffed out in pride and Triton laughed as he poked the man in the stomach. "Hey!" All the air went out of Ralph’s lungs and seeing him physically deflate like that made Triton laugh even more. "You know what, there will be *no* physical deflation of my ego in this house!" The taller man leaned over and started to tickle Triton’s ribs, which made Triton jerk back and double over to protect himself.

"Hey! That’s not fair!" he laughed, twisting this way and that to get free. Ralph had him, though, and wasn’t letting go. Triton dropped off the edge of the couch and Ralph followed, straddling his waist and pinning his arms above his head with one hand as the other continued to dance up and down his sides. Tears were running down the younger man’s face and he was begging for Ralph to stop, promising him anything.

"A kiss," Ralph told him.

"All right! Você é um tremendo imbecil(1)! A kiss! You get a kiss! Now let me go!" Still laughing, Triton yelled softly when Ralph tried to help him up. "Don’t tickle me!"

"I’m not! I’m trying to help you up." Ralph was laughing, too, and leaned in close. "So, about my kiss... And I want a real one, too, not one on the cheek or the nose or the forehead. On the lips."

"Picky, picky, picky," Triton muttered, crossing his legs beneath him. Ralph was still close, still watching him. The young man swallowed and licked his lips before leaning in and softly resting them against Ralph’s. Both men waited a moment, Triton not quite sure what was going to happen next and Ralph simply savoring the moment before he returned the slight pressure of Triton’s lips. ‘Well, this isn’t so bad...’

It wasn’t, really. The nearness of Ralph, the touch of his skin, was comforting to Triton, who had grown unaccustomed to enjoying human touch. The young man leaned into the kiss more and tilted his head when Ralph touched his cheek gently, smiling a little. The older man’s hand moved to the back of his neck and tilted his head up a little more, never once breaking the kiss.

‘Of course he isn’t. He’d have to stop kissing me if he did.’ Triton didn’t like the thought of Ralph not kissing him, though. ‘And besides, I never said how long the kiss was supposed to last.’ It could last the whole damned night, for all Triton cared. Triton still had his legs curled partly under him and Ralph was kneeling, leaning toward the Portuguese teenager. Laying back more would have been too suggestive of sex, but Triton was getting rather uncomfortable. Ralph solved that for him by slipping one arm around his waist and pulling him up so he was kneeling, too, pressed against Ralph. ‘Ohhhh, nice...’

Triton was slowly losing the ability to think, but he definitely felt Ralph’s hand on him, the hand that had been on his neck that was now on his chest, then his arms, then his legs. The young man had both arms around Ralph’s neck, his eyes half-closed in enjoyment.

A while later Ralph pulled away just enough to break the kiss. He was breathing as hard as Triton was and rested his forehead against Triton’s. "You won’t sleep with me?" he asked in a breathless whisper.

"No," Triton replied.

"Will you date me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Triton took deep breaths to calm himself and tried to think. He shook his head, not moving away from Ralph. "I can’t."

"Why not?"

Ralph’s hands were on Triton’s hips, squeezing tightly, and his breath was hot and sweet on the young man’s mouth. Triton shook his head again. "It’s wrong."

"Why is it wrong? Dating me doesn’t mean sleeping with me."

His shadow defenses were crumbling fast, leaving him with no choice but to accept. Triton wasn’t sure why he was balking at seeing such an attractive man on a regular basis, kissing him, touching him... ‘Maybe it’s the thought of sex with him.’ "I..."

"Please. What must I do to get you to accept me?"

"All right," Triton whispered. "All right."

Ralph pulled back and rested his hand against Triton’s cheek, looking him in the eye. "You’re serious?"

Triton nodded and smiled a little. "I’m serious." He leaned into Ralph’s hand and smiled up at the man, who grinned back.

"That wasn’t so hard, was it?"

"Oh, you!" Triton hit the man playfully in the shoulder and Ralph grabbed his wrist, bringing it to his lips and kissing the inside of it. He chuckled when Triton shivered.

"I don’t suppose you’d stay the night, even if I offered to let you sleep out here?"

"I don’t think you’d stay in your room," Triton told him. "And I really can’t. I didn’t bring anything to wear in the morning." He could feel the flush on his cheeks getting hotter. "Besides, you’ll be with me all weekend."

"Bah, fine." Ralph leaned back against the couch and ran a hand through his hair, grinning at Triton.

Triton grinned back. "Now I suppose I’m in the perfect position for you to draw me?"

"Of course." Ralph picked his sketch pad and pencil off of the couch and drew his knees up, propping the pad on them and winking at Triton. "If you pulled your skirt up a little more, it’d be a great panty shot."

Triton threw a pillow at Ralph.

1. "You’re such a jerk!"